


Reckless

by themoonandotherslikeit



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Mutual Pinning, human!Cas, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonandotherslikeit/pseuds/themoonandotherslikeit
Summary: After a tough hunt Dean helps Cas clean a wound. Ever since he became human it was hard to deal with pain, and not just the physical kind. Turns out, its harder to bury your feelings when you feel everything so intensely, as Castiel will quickly learn, since Dean is sitting so close sewing up his face.





	Reckless

“I can’t believe you were this reckless.” Dean grumbled, as he sat crouched in front of Castiel. The ex-angel was avoiding his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about how much of a liability he’d become since he lost his grace. Since he’d become human. He didn’t want to talk about how without his grace he felt useless, to put it mildly.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean sighed and continued to clean Castiel’s wound on his forehead with a damp cloth. “I know you are, buddy. I know.”

“I don’t mean to be a burden. I was trying to help.”

Dean knew this. Of course he did. He’d known Cas for so long that it was second nature to all but read his mind. He knew what Cas was doing with a single glance. He was trying to help, but he shouldn’t have had to. “You’re not a burden.”

“You’re not a good liar, Dean.”

He was better than Cas thought. In the same way that Castiel never noticed the chills that ran up Dean’s spine when Cas said his name. _Dean_. Like he was saying it for the first time. Testing it on his lips. _Dean_. Like it was some sort of fucking poem.

“Sure I am.” He dabbed the wound again. “I’m going to need to put alcohol on it. it’s gonna hurt, okay?”

Castiel nodded and braced for the sting as Dean poured the liquid over the wound.

“I’m not lying, by the way.” He murmured. “I think you need stitches.”  He turned to get his needle and thread.

_“Cas watch out!” Dean shouted as he dodged the werewolf that was coming at him. They’d run into a pair, a couple. Guess those who eat hearts together, stay together. Right?_

_The wolf was coming for Cas, claws out. He managed to dodge, but not fast enough. The wolf’s claws grazed Cas’ forehead, barely catching his right eye._

_Dean pulled back his arm and unloaded a round of silver bullets into the wolf that was circling him. “Buddy, you good?” He shouted behind him, turning only to find Cas bent over, clutching his eye. Blood dissipated through his fingers._

_Dean stood in horror. “Cas?” The sight of his friend bleeding, caused his guard to lower just enough for the second wolf to jump on him. He fell flat on his back the wolf biting at him, its maw was dripping with thick saliva. Dean held it at arm’s length, and even from that far away he could feel the hot, wet breath on his face. “Buddy, I could use some help!” He shouted. He was unable to get to his blade in his boot, and he lost his gun when the wolf leaped on him. He tried to look at Cas, worried that he was fucking dead over there. Why else wouldn’t he be responding to Dean’s cries for help?_

“You need help with your wounds, too.” Cas said quietly, looking at Dean through his one good eye. Dean’s lip was busted open and his shoulders were in shreds from holding off the wolf.

“I’m good. I’ll get some whiskey and stitch myself up in a bit.”

Castiel was quiet. There were so many things he wanted to say. Sorry, to start. Sorry for being so useless, for being such a fuck up, for letting Metatron steal his grace, for never admitting his true feelings, but more than anything for getting Dean hurt. For being a liability. “Maybe I should go, after this.”

“Go where?” Dean asked, rubbing the lidocaine around Cas’ open wound.

“Anywhere… away.”

Dean stopped rubbing the lidocaine. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, right?”

His words shook Castiel to his core, causing his lips to press together. He just shook his head _no_ , because what else was he supposed to do?

“So, you’re just gonna run? Takin a page from my playbook?”

If it were any other time Castiel would laugh. Dean was never that self-aware, but it wasn’t another time. It was this time, and this time Cas felt too sick to laugh. “It is what’s best.”

“According to who?”

“Me.”

“Oh, and you’re king of the world or somethin? You get to make decisions for everyone?”

“That isn’t what I…”

“I know it isn’t.” Dean snapped. “But you’re still doin it. Listen to me, Cas.” Dean said, holding his face between his calloused hands. “I know you’re scared. You’re human now, and that comes with a lot of new shit. Feelings. Fuck, I hate em myself. You know that, but family doesn’t run. We don’t. So, just shut that down, already.” He went back to sewing, connecting Cas’ skin back together in a jagged line. He did his best, but it would leave a scar. A constant reminder.

Cas wondered about all of Dean’s scars. The marks on his body left by blades, bullets, claws… there were likely countless spaces on his freckled skin that left pink raised marked. He wanted to see them. Count them. Memorize every space of Dean. It was easier, when he was an angel, to ignore the urges that bubbled inside of his belly. It was easier to pretend, to be numb. Angels felt everything and nothing all at once, but since he was human… he felt everything differently. He felt the sting and poke of metal piercing his skin, and he felt his heartbeat in his forehead as his wound throbbed. He also felt Dean’s warm breath on his face and his legs on either side of Castiel’s knee.

“Hey, you good? You’re holding your breath?” Dean asked gently. Castiel let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, and his good eye flickered to Dean. He ran his thumb under Cas’ eye. “I’m here.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” He murmured quietly.

“You haven’t felt here since you…” He couldn’t say it. They didn’t talk about it. the subject of Castiel’s grace was taboo, it was a no no.

“I haven’t felt here, either.” He admitted. “I’m trying my best.”

“How can I help you?”

Castiel unknowingly pressed his forehead to Deans. They were already so close that it just took a breath to connect them. _This_ , Castiel thought. _This helps. Being with you helps._

“You seem in your head.” Dean commented softly. “Be here.”

“I’m here.” Cas whispered.

“You’re here with me.” Dean said with a smile. “Right where you’re supposed to be.”

_Castiel ran, like it hadn’t occurred to him before that second. He ran to Dean like he always had. Cas lifted his blade above his head and stuck it between the wolf’s shoulder blades. It took all the strength that he had. Everything seemed to be more difficult since he was human. Especially being around Dean. He was he supposed to focus on a hunt with Dean’s striking green eyes and pouty lips. How was he supposed to focus when Dean was laughing, or wiping a bead of sweat from his eyebrow?_

“What are you thinking about?” Dean asked, pulling Castiel back to the present.

His head was spinning. All he could think about was Dean. The way he looked right when he woke up in the morning, his eyebrows together, all grumpy and handsome. The way he smelled after a shower, his skin steamy and smelling of pine three in one men’s body wash. The selfish way he hoarded the entire pie in the corner, and the way he always offered Castiel the last bite even if he really wanted it. All he could think about was Dean. _His_ Dean. He wished that Dean could remember the time before. _“Castiel, you are too attached to the human. To Michaels vessel. How do you expect to serve heaven when you are spending your time serving Dean Winchester?”_ It was always Dean. There was no question. The moment Castiel saw how bright his soul glowed, even in Hell, he was a goner. He’d been around humanity, but not like that. Not with someone as righteous as Dean Winchester.

_“Who are you?” Dean asked, looking up at him, his torture tools still in his hands._

_“My name is Castiel. I’m here for you. Take my hand, and I will raise you.”_

_Dean shook his head, it drooping low. “I can’t go. Take someone else. I don’t deserve it.”_

_There was no question. Apocalypse or no apocalypse, Dean Winchester didn’t deserve to be in Hell. So Castiel swooped down with his mighty wings, and wrapped his arms around Dean, gripping his shoulder tightly. “You do, and I will spend however long it takes proving that to you.” His wings pushed them upward, away from the demons that scratched at his ankles, begging to pull him back down._

With everything he learned about he was deeper and deeper in. He loved him.

In that moment, though, all he wanted was to kiss him.

Castiel wondered if he said his desires out loud without realizing it, because suddenly he felt Dean’s lips brush his. They were soft and warm and more than he could’ve ever imagined in his wildest dreams. “Dean.” Cas whispered, his eyes fluttering open.

“I‘m sorry... I shouldn’t have done that.” Dean murmured, biting his bottom lip.

“Kiss me again.” Was all Cas could say. Turned out, that it was all he would need to say, because Dean did.


End file.
